My name is Mike Gillis. I'm the head writer for The Onion. I've also written pieces for The New Yorker, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, Tricycle, ClickHole, and College Humor. My short stories have shown up in the Chicago Quarterly Review, Hobart, and PULP Literature. I also like writing little games like this one. Check out the links above, and get in touch through the Contact page if you want me to write something for you.